Typing Airedale
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For veterans or those who are new to the list, here are the definitions of some words that are unique to Airedale-L.
Using these words in your graduate thesis or in a Scrabble game is not recommended!

 
TERM DEFINITION
AIREHEADA not-so-bright Airedale or more commonly, an Airedale that is trying to make you believe that they don't understand something they don't want to do.
AIRE POLLUTIONWhat is created when an Airedale passes gas.
AIRESINGALONGOne Airedale begins to warble, whine, howl, gargle, and make other assorted noises, often during the customary 'whining hour'. Other Airedales in the household join in, resulting in strange and sometimes ethereal harmonies that put even the most avante garde of New Age Music to shame. Other times, though, the Airesingalong produces something more hideous even than rap music.
AIRESNAPA quick snap of the teeth, often used to signal the Humanbeans that the Airedale WANTS to play, and wants to NOW. The action is akin to catching of bugs in flight, but there is no bug. The Airedale attacks, and kills, mere air.
AIREWAVEThe lifting of the foreleg as high as possible and held - an Airedale's greeting when you come home
BADBEDFLOPSome Airedales, when told they have been 'bad' and that they must 'Go to Bed' will flounce dramatically to the appointed spot, and throw themselves dowh with a loud FLOP, usually followed by an AireGlare and a PITIFULMESIGH and a POORMISERABLESADME expression, which has been crafted to arouse sympathy and guilt in the aforementioned human.
BADBEDPLOPSame as a BADBEDFLOP only louder.
BARKFROMHISTOESA very enthusiastic bark which eminates from the entire dog, toes to nose. THis bark can only be accomplished when the Airedale is in a state of high alertness, standing on TIPTOE with tail held high
BEARDEDBOINK????????
BEARDSLIMESlimy material found in an Airedale's beard. Most Airedale owners prefer not to know what the BEARDSLIME is composed of.
BEARDSLOSHThe act of releasing the liquid that seems to stay in an Airedale's beard until they manage to touch you or the furniture, instantly releasing a pint of water and BEARDSLIME.
BIGCROTCHPOKEA BIGNOSEPOKE carefully aimed at a human's crotch, assuring the victim's undivided attention.
BIGCROTCHSNAPAn Airedale snapping the jaws shut near a human's crotch. This usually gets the human's attention.
BIGNOSEPOKEA nose driven hard into someone by an Airedale. BIGNOSEPOKES can leave bruises anywhere they land. The most devastating example is the BIGCROTCHPOKE.
BIGPAWDEMANDAn insistent demand made by an Airedale, punctuated by pawing.
BIGPAWSLAPSimilar to a BIGPAWDEMAND, but the person is slapped by the Airedale's paw.
BIGSIGHA long, breathy sigh by an Airedale, usually when relaxed. This is noticeably different than a PITIFULMESIGH.
BODYSLAMAn Airedale running into a human, dog or other object using it's entire body weight for maximum impact.
BUTTFIRSTSITANDPET??????
BUTTWOBBLEPOKEA BIGNOSEPOKE aimed precisely at the part of the gluteal area which is padded in such a way that the fatty tissue wobbles obviously. This specialized BIGNOSEPOKE is most effective when used on female humans, who might ignore a quickcrotchsnap.
COLDNOSEWHOOPIESA favorite joke that Airedales play on humans. Step one is to get their nose as cold as possible by licking it outside when it is below freezing causing a sheet of ice to form on the nose, or just by plowing nose first through the snow. Step two is delivering a BIGNOSEPOKE with their icy nose, preferably from behind, just after the human exits the shower.
COUNTERSURFINGThat art of placing the front paws on a counter or table and nosing, licking and sniffing through everything that can be reached.
COUNTERTOPLEAPANDGRABWhile COUNTERSURFING, the Airedale jumps to extend their reach, enabling them to remove objects from the back of the counter.
DESTRUCTOMANIALeave a bored Airedale alone with anything you value, and you will see what this means. One Airedale ate the tailgate of a Subaru in only 5 minutes. Airedale puppies have been know to eat through drywall to escape being confined in a room.
EXTRAGENTLEA rarely seen Airedale ability. Airedales have the ability to pick up very fragile items without damaging them, if they choose. If they choose otherwise, you have DESTRUCTOMANIA.
FARTBUTTIf you have to ask, explaining it won't help. Just give your Airedale some raw brocolli and refried beans for dinner. You should witness FARTBUTT shortly thereafter. FARTBUTT is a major source of AIRE POLLUTION.
FASTNOSELICK????????
FOODFACEWIPEImmediately after eating, many Airedales like to wipe their face. Favorite places to wipe the face include, furniture, clothing (only if being worn by someone), draperies, carpeting and walls.
FOODHOUNDSHUFFLEThis is what Airedales do when looking for crumbs on the floor. They sniff loudly and with such determination that the whiskers sweep up not only crumbs but dust moozies, lint, and small toys. In order to keep the nose at the appropriate distance from the floor, and to search efficiently, the Airedale adopts a shuffling gait.
FUZZYSNUFFLESAffectionately nuzzling a human while inhaling. If done on the head it feels as if they are inhaling most of your hair.
GROWFINGQuick, nearly voiceless barks or brief barklike growls, usually accompanied by impatient movements of the head and forelegs. This sound signals that the dog is disgruntled about something such as the human not meeting some need such as play, food, cookies, or walkies upon first request.
GROWFANDMUTTERSGrowfing accompanied by canine muttering. Though it has not been proven, it is theorized that the muttering is actually a string of Airedale curse words.
HAIRYDOGHUGA hug by an Airedale standing on hind legs, embracing the entire body. Best done when the Human is dressed formally. Preferably dressed in white. The Airedale enjoys this most if they have a beard and paws drenched in mud.
HARDHEADTONOSEBUTTAn extremely painful HEADBUTT where the Airedale's head is applied forcefully to a human's nose.
HEADBUTTThe act of forcefully applying an Airedale head to some portion of the human anatomy. Favorite targets are heads, and knees (KNEEBASHER). If applied to a human's nose it becomes a HARDHEADTONOSEBUTT. Airedale heads are hard enough to cut diamonds, so HEADBUTTS are not to be taken lightly!
HEADDOWNHELLNOA gesture used when the Airedale adamantly refuses to follow a request by a human. The head drops below the level of the shoulders, exposing the armored cranium, which is invulnerable to any force known to man. During a HEADDOWNHELLNO, the Airedale will not move or respond in any way, nor will it look the human in the eye.
HEYYOUBIGBARK????????
HYPERDRIVEA sudden burst of energy. An Airedale in HYPERDRIVE may do a TUCKBUTTRUN or simply run around the room touching only the walls.
ITCHYFACERUB????????
JAWSOFDEATHRefers to an Airedale's ability to lock down their jaws with the force of a bear trap, on any object that is important to them. Usually used on favorite toys, dirty Kleenex, anything obtained by COUNTERSURFING and other equally valuable items.
KNEEBASHERA HEADBUTT applied to a human's knee.
KNEEBUCKLEA method by which even a small Airedale can knock a large person to the ground. This is accomplished by running into the back of both knees, causing the knees to collapse, thus depositing the victim on the ground. An Airedale in HYPERDRIVE may deliver a HARDHEADTONOSEBUTT before the victim can recover.
LEADBUTTDROP????????
LITTLEPAWSLAPPretty much the same as a BIGPAWSLAP, but the slapper must be a small puppy. Note that the needles they come equipped with as toenails, are as sharp as those of a tiger.
MULTIDALEMANIAThe insane belief that it is possible to maintain a "normal" household after adding a third (or post-third) Airedale.
MIGHTYHEADBUTTSame as a HEADBUTT but delivered vigorously by a large Airedale.
MINEMOOA mooing sound made by an Airedale, holding a favorite toy, when you try to remove the toy from it's beartrap-like jaws. See JAWSOFDEATH.
MUZZLEWRESTLEA game played by two Airedales, where they lay on the floor or ground and wrestle using only their muzzles.
NOISELESSBARK????????
NOSEINCROTCHA gentle warning that an Airedale gives by nuzzling a human's crotch. If ignored it can lead to a BIGCROTCHPOKE.
NOSEARTDrawings made on glass by Airedale Terriers. They do this by drawing with their moist noses then adding texture with their beards.
NOSEPOKEThe act of poking an Airedale's big black nose into an object, usually a human. Airedales can do this from birth. After growing to more than 20 pounds, they are capable of administering a BIGNOSEPOKE.
OHNOSLIDEANDFLOP????????
PANDEMONINGThe act of creating pandemonium. Airedales can do this with more ease than any other animal, other than middle school children in groups.
PITIFULMESIGHA great, long, breathy sigh by an Airedale that feels it has been wronged by a human. Cleaning the Airedale's ears, giving it a bath, or refusing to share your ribeye steak can cause an Airedale to give a PITIFULMESIGH.
PLAYDEADYOU'LLGOAWAY????????
PLAYDEMANDInsistent request that the Human play with the Airedale. A PLAYDEMAND takes many forms. Some Airedales use varying degrees of PAWSLAPS. Some GROWF, some sneeze and bark. None of them give up until the human gives in.
PLURALDALEMANIAThe insane belief that it is possible to maintain a "normal" household after adding a second Airedale.
POORMISERABLESADMEThe expression on an Airedale's face when making a PITIFULMESIGH.
POWERFULPAWSLAPSame as BIGPAWSLAP but delivered more vigorously.
PUPKUS????????
QUICKBUTTCRASH????????
QUICKCOUNTERGRABThe act of an Airedale quickly grabbing something off of a counter.
QUICKCROTCHSNAPAn Airedale suddenly and unexpectedly snapping the jaws shut near a human's crotch. Guaranteed to get the human's attention and may even cause them to go into HYPERDRIVE, like an Airedale.
REARENDWAGWagging the tail so hard that the entire rear end wags.
REARINYOURFACEAiredales do not 'say' "IN YOUR FACE", they act it out.
SANDPAPERKISSESHard, pesistent kisses from an Airedale, allowing the human to feel the coarse texture of the Airedale tongue.
SERIOUSSTALKPOSITION????????
SLEIGHTOFMOUTHHow an Airedale manages to steal things you thought were unreachable.
SMARTMEHIGHSTEPThe prancing gait of an Airedale that is exceptionally proud of themself. Usually seen immediately after a SLIGHTOFMOUTH, BIGNOSEPOKE, or QUICKCOUNTERGRAB.
SMARTMESTRUTSame as SMARTMEHIGHSTEP.
STINKYAIREPOOTSame as FARTBUTT. The source of AIRE POLLUTION.
TEDDY PRINCIPLEThe theory, supported by a great deal of research, that Airedales will misbehave as soon as you say that they won't.
TERRIERISTSPeople who are deranged enough to choose to share their homes with Terriers, dogs that are said to be stubborn, cantankerous, contemptious, untrainable, incorrigible, and suffer from Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Terrierists, strangely, choose these dogs, so they must get some satisfaction from their dysfunctionality.
TERRIERTWOSTEP????????
TFAOPThe Finest Animal on the Planet. The Airedale Terrier, of course!
THEAIREDALELEAN????????
TRYANDTAKEITA challenge issued by an Airedale that is wishing to prove once again that the Jaws of Death RULE. WHen a TRYANDTAKEIT is used, the Airedale will not give up the given object until the human decides it does not want the object after all. Even if this takes days, the Airedale will NOT lose face by putting the object down. Airedales have been known to become weak from hunger before giving up on a TRYANDTAKEIT.
TUCKBUTTRUNThe act of running with the hindquarters tucked down as close to the ground as possible. This is usually done by an Airedale that is very excited or in HYPERDRIVE.
TWIRLYBIRDTAILA form of tail wagging that is practiced by some Airedales. TWIRLYBIRDTAIL is the act of spinning the tail in a circular motion, instead of the standard back and forth motion.
WETBEARDCRUDA solid substance found in an Airedale's beard. WETBEARDCRUD is dried WETBEARDSLIME
WETBEARDSLIMEThe moist, slimy material found in an Airedale's beard.
WETBEARDSLURPA kiss delivered by an Airedale with a wet beard. They like to do this immediately after drinking.
WHOLEBODYWIGGLEThe act of wagging the tail with such enthusiasm, that the entire body wags with the tail.
YOUDONTMEANMELOOKThe expression of complete innocence on an Airedale's face when accused of COUNTERSURFING or DESTRUCTOMANIA.

Thanks to Karl Broom, Pat Bennett, and Gena Welch for their assistance in compiling this list.


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